Magic
by f U n N i E b O n E s 2K
Summary: Sorry! I had to edit ths one! // HY+RP - His pledge of if only's and things that could have been done was broken by a stiffened cry and the muffled sound of a figure dropping down on the floor, weeping...
1. Mixed Emotions

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, and surprising, as it seems I don't know who owns it …_

A/N: I know this is almost a year old, but it has come to my attention that it sucks! So I decided to edit!

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Key:

Italicized - Flashback

Plain - Present

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The Piercing Chill I Feel

The piercing chill I feel:

My dead wife's comb, in our bedroom,

Under my heel...

-- Taniguchi Buson (1760)

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Magic

Chapter I – Of Recollections and Realities

Heero felt a cracking sound of something he had stepped on and broke. His back instinctively gave him a chill down his spine that told him not to turn back to see what got caught between the solid floor and his heel.But he betrayed his instincts, as if suddenly, picked the split pieces of the article that lay on the cold floor.

"Shit..." Heero stopped his muttered curse as he saw the split object.

The comb... His thoughts drifted back to that comb. That comb brought back the past, the past that seemed so sweet when he was experiencing it, but seemed wretched and cold when he desperately dreamed about it again. The memories flashed through his eyes so quickly that he closed his eyes again to cherish it again...

_"Heero, do you believe in magic?" She questioned him in a cheery tone, trying to find out if he still had some childlike sense within himself. "Hn. There is no such thing such as magic. Magicians only create illusions to ring money out of idiotic fools who believe in magic when there is no such thing." "Well do you believe it's magic when two forlorn people in the world find each other to love through all of the strangers they meet all their lives? I don't believe that true love is an illusion." Her question to the perfect soldier was left unanswered yet she expected that same gruff silence from him. For Heero was always a person of little or no words. "Heero do you think that magic can happen between us?" Relena suddenly asked, and after his reply, regretted asking it._

_"Hn. Relena, when will you understand that I am incapable of loving you? You can never make me love you. If you can't no one will." He knew he had to deny his true feelings for her because expressing the conformity to reality would only destroy her. Relena lowered her head upon hearing his reply, finding it arduous to hide her falling tears because he could see right through her attempted facade. He attempted to utter words that would make her feel better but he himself was stopped by her own words._

_"Heero, maybe you know already, I love you, I've loved you, but I guess that's a waste of breath since you don't really care about what I really feel. You are the coldest human being - no you're too cold to be human..."_

_There was a long_ _silence after that. Heero felt as if a knife was plunged into his heart.He continued to stare at her eyes, after a few moments, she broke the silence by saying:_

_"Your heart of stone has broken me, but I promise you that I will never bother you again." She walked away, almost too abruptly, but she dared not to look back to stare at those eyes, those eyes that melted her like a hot knife through butter. That first love she had for him was still there, and it never will leave the chambers of her heart._

_Heero felt a string of remorse and regret after not chasing her. He even felt more regret when he realized that she hated him now. He thought that love she had for him was no longer there, as if he set a bird free from its confines. He made an attempt to bestow his fate to the magic, the similar magic of the stars and he made a haste and desperate wish._

"If only love was really magic Relena, you taught me that it was, and I believed it, but after you have gone, it's nothing but a mere illusion that I can never get back. Damn you for making me miss you so much." He replied to the cold and empty room. "If only I realized that what I really felt for you sooner, then we could have done many..." His pledge of if only's and things that could have been done was broken by a stiffened cry and the muffled sound of a figure dropping down on the floor, weeping. His unconfined declaration merely triggered his mind to drift back to happier days, for he had nothing but those memories to hang on....

_"Aw come on Heero, buddy, she's getting ready to marry some stranger she doesn't know, you're about to lose her, and still cannot admit your feelings for her?" Duo said to Heero as he put his arms behind his head._

_"... It's been a long time since I've seen her, she probably decided to forget about me." Was the reply of the perfect soldier._

_"Fine, do whatever you want buddy but don't go complaining to me when you lose her..." Duo said as he smiled and thought to himself:_

_"Hah. He'll sure realize what he really feels right at the last minute. Watch and see." He left the room with an idiotic grin plastered on his face._

_"Are you really meant for me Relena?" He thought to himself as he glared at Duo's retreating back as he left._

Back to reality, Heero felt the disturbing winter chill grow colder as those memories came back flashing to him. He sat there, where he broke down, for a moment, and then got up to the fireplace. Heero continued his reminiscence after he stood up and walked over to the fireplace in search of heat.

_Heero had showed up at her balcony that night, even he himself not knowing why he had showed up that night. He came to a conclusion that he visited her just to capture a vision of her. His body came into one with the shadows, Relena, unaware of his presence, still continued on with her deep sleep. He slowly crept into her room, finding it difficult to be near her since she had a very massive bedroom. As the moonlight came out of the dark nighttime clouds, his figure became visible. Relena unconsciously turned to the other side of her bed as she felt the moonlight shine on her face and bothering her sleep. He slowly moved to the side of the bed on which she was facing to see a glimpse of her delicate face. That face reminded him of how he could be weak. That face made him surrender himself to her charm. Somehow he felt that if he lost her, he would lose the only thing he could really cherish._

_"I have to tell her tonight that I believe that magic can happen between the both of us." He whispered as he kneeled down on her bedside._

_Even if his statement was a mere whisper, he had waken her deep slumber suddenly and as she opened her eyes hastily, he jumped back from the bed. She doubted his presence there and rubbed her eyes twice to make sure that it wasn't another trick played by her mind. She shook her head and tried to be certain that it wasn't another illusion that was just going to be there for a split second and then disappear on the next._

_"Heero?" she whispered hoarsely, squinting her eyes so that she could see the blurred figure in front of her._

_No reply was heard from him, the only sound produced was the slow but steady footsteps that headed towards Relena. He took her up in his arms and she rested her head against his chest. "Heero you never told me you loved me, you even denied it but somehow I knew that that denial was untrue." She continued to rest her head on his shoulder as he stroked her silky hair, trying to freeze that moment to eternity. She looked up at him, to stare at his London-blue Prussian eyes, those eyes that gave her the gate to his soul. Without any further words, his mouth covered hers in a sensual kiss._ _He rocked her gently, kissing her with all the passion he had kept locked inside for a long time. Words attempted to come out of her mouth, but it was stopped as the words came out of his lips._

_"I love you, Relena, I always have. I never realized that until I knew that I was going to lose you if I didn't tell you the truth." He could feel himself building up and burning his desire for her. But his brain told him to stop. He wanted her, needed her so badly but he had to stop, if he failed to do so, he would only cause a problem. He broke their kiss, surprising her. Like him, she felt a certain longing for him._

_"So it's you and me then huh?" He said huskily to her as he could feel her hot breath against his skin. Just looking at her gave him his answer and she kissed him once more, and fulfilled the longing they had for each other that night with endless love and unbridled passion._

Heero closed his eyes as he ended the flashback that changed his life forever. He realized that even though there was no hope, and no future from him, he still had those recollections to hang onto. He smiled faintly at the thought and went to his empty bed to be one with the darkness.

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_" Got__ to believe in magic_

_Tell me how two people find each other_

_In a world that's full of strangers_

_You got to believe in magic_

_Something is stronger than the moon above_

_'Cause it's magic when two people fall in love"_

--"Got to Believe in Magic" David Pomeranz

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Have any comments, suggestions or death threats?

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Send them to me!

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Craziereggie392@aol.com


	2. One Mangled Heart, Two Unfortunate Souls

_Standard Disclaimers Apply…_

A/N: I read it after ignoring this story for a while, and I noticed I made Heero such a poor little soul…and OOC! Poor him!

Key:

Italicized text ~ Flashback

Plain text ~ Reality/ Present Time

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_"…__Pity those who wait_

_Trusting love to fade_

_Finding out too late_

_That they've lost it_

_Never letting go_

_They will never know the ways of love..."_

--Got To Believe in Magic by David Pomeranz

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Magic

Chapter II – One Mangled Heart, Two Unfortunate Souls

Heero woke up in the middle of the night, desperately seeking breath. His horrible nightmare of something he already seemed to forget caused him to sweat and quiver.

He ran his trembling hand slowly up his unmanageable hair and remembered his encounter with Relena's comb…

He went out of his bed, and in the obscure darkness, he searched for the broken object that caused him mixed emotions of pain, sorrow, remorse and at the same time, contentment and joy. The contentment and joy she had so little time to give him.

He searched for the object blindly, patting and rubbing his hands on the carpeted floor, muttering a curse as he realized that his attempted search had failed.

He was alone...all alone, now that fate and time was too cruel and took her away from his grasp...not only did these powerful forces take her, but they took his heart and soul too....if he could only have a second once in a lifetime...it may be too much to ask, but then again, it's the only thing he would ask for...

"Nobody left in this world to hold me tight..." He thought bitterly.

He shrugged off sleep and preferred to dream the past that gave him the only happiness he could only have...He closed his eyes, ignoring the fact that doing this would only cause him disappointment and self-condemnation for letting the unstoppable factors of fate and time take her away...

He woke up that glorious morning, beside the woman that he considered his only treasure, the treasure that he thought never existed. She had always been there, but he denied himself of her. He ignored her because he used to believe that missions were the only important things in his "cheap" life and that she was the meddling brat who interfered with his job. The past night had been heaven for both of them, they expressed the passion that they have kept up inside for so long for the first time in their lives.

He brushed the lustrous strands of her hair away from her statuesque face to be able to admire it in the comforting silence. The peaceful look on her face faltered as she unconsciously shook her head and started to tremble. While asleep, she tried to pull the covers and could not bring it up to her quivering body.

A look of worry was written on his face as he saw this, he took her by her shoulders and shook her.

"No...No!" She said unconsciously looking surprised and disappointed, with a horrified expression on her face.

He continued to shake her gently, calling her name. She finally woke up with a horrified look on her face. Her eyes were popped out and her face was ghastly white. She trembled in his arms, as the forces of the coldness of her skin and the warmth of his were struggling. She looked at the face of the man who woke her up. When she saw it was him, she buried her face against his chest and cast a tight grip on his arm.

"Oh Heero, I had a horrible dream. I saw my own death...my own death!!!" She said it with so much horror that it made Heero tremble himself.

"Sshh...It's alright...it's alright, now tell me exactly what happened." He rocked her gently, running his hand back and forth on her side, trying his best to comfort her.

"My death...my death..." After a long interval of time, she finally decided to talk things out as she got a little more calm. "I was walking down on a sidewalk on one cloudy afternoon, it began to thunder, I thought it was nothing...then it began to rain...it poured down so heavily...so quickly that the roads became so slippery..."

Her words were choppy and short, her sentences were incomplete and she sounded unreasonably distrustful. Heero wondered why she put such an emphasis on the impact of the rain in her dream. Her statements and her movements made no sense.

She swallowed hard and sighed deeply as she continued: "...I saw a building on the other side, I thought it would be a great idea if I stayed there until the rain would come to a stop...it was getting colder and I ran into a hurry...I looked at both sides before I crossed...I hurriedly ran to the other side..." She took a long pause and a tone of terror was in her voice as she continued.

"...But I never made it...A crazy car came speeding down the slippery road...when the driver saw me, he hastily pushed on the pedal...the slippery road prevented the car from stopping...I saw the car spinning towards me, and then a black pitch...after that, I saw a funeral car...I saw these grim people wearing black and some women in veils... mourning...people I recognized...I saw everyone's face...except mine...I ran to a man wearing a suit and sunglasses, probably some security guard...and asked him what was happening..."

She broke into a cry. "Oh Heero, it was horrible. He told me that the former Queen of the World was going to be buried that day...and I denied it and kept on saying No, No..." She tightened her grip on his arm as she cried quietly.

He did not dare speak. His expression was not of horror, nor worry, but the expression was unreadable. He stared blankly into the sheets, finding something to say.

That moment felt and looked as if it would be embedded into eternity. He could feel the sheets dampen as her tears shed. He had no other alternative but to tell her that it was only a dream -- only a dream -- nothing more. They sat there, in silence, for a few more moments, until Heero finally broke the immeasurable and deep stillness.

"It's only a dream, how would it affect you? You won't die, not right now, not while I'm here, here to protect you." He knew the words were right, it assured her that bad dreams are just tricks of the mind and that he would stay to watch over her.

"Yeah right, Heero, you promised you would take care of her, and now you're still here but where is she now? Gone! Yeah that's right! Gone!" He clenched his fist as he remembered that promise he had said to her that morning but failed to fulfill it.

Heero sat there for one more moment, pondering his thoughts as closed his eyes to return to his flashback once more...

He had left her temporarily that late morning to take care of some of his so-called "business" and promised to get back to her as soon as possible.

"Hello? Oh yes, Quatre! How are you? You'd like to ask me something? Alright, we can talk about it while having some afternoon tea. I'm so glad that you two are coming! Alright I'll see you then, goodbye." Relena sighed and smiled cheerfully as she put the phone down in her expensively decorated living room. "I wonder what Quatre and Dorothy want to see me for."

That afternoon, Quatre and Dorothy came over for tea. "Relena, it's so good to see you. You must be wondering why we're barging into you like this. But it's been quite a while since we've seen or heard from you." A smiling Quatre had his arm protectively around his wife's waist, and Relena noticed that Dorothy seemed to have gained a couple of pounds to her slim figure, but it's been a while. Relena smiled at both of them, glad that Quatre had changed Dorothy. Dorothy was no longer the vicious, war-loving and cold human being, but something completely the opposite. Dorothy smiled back at her and kissed her on the cheek. "Relena, you must be lonely living in this massive estate, without anyone to keep you company. I must invite you more often at our house."

"Please, have a seat, tea will be served shortly." She, Quatre, and Dorothy took a seat on her lavish sofas and a uniformed maid with a tray containing tea and some biscuits came in. "Thank you Marie that will be all." Relena said as she dismissed the middle-aged maid.

After she served some tea to her guests, she asked, "So what brings you here?"

Dorothy blushed while Quatre said, "Well, we just found out that Dorothy is two months pregnant. And well, we want you to be the godmother of the child."

"This is wonderful! I'm so happy for you both! And of course I would be glad to be the godmother of your child!" She sat up and embraced Dorothy. "So I gather that you two have been busy eh?" Relena also had a surprise of her own.

"You know I have a surprise of my own too." Quatre and Dorothy looked at Relena expectantly.

"I'm breaking my engagement, with...with the consort they have paired up for me. I'm already doing him a favor, he wanted out of the engagement as much as I did." Relena stated flatly.

"Relena, I'm not surprised at all, I gather Heero was here last night?" Quatre replied with a sly grin that was never expected out of the polite, aristocratic Arabian.

In the meantime as Heero was nearing Relena's estate, he saw Relena conversing with a blonde man, and failed to see the other guest. "Quatre? What the hell is he doing here?" His pace grew faster and more briskly, and he would demand Relena an explanation.

Suddenly, the door burst open, though it did not crack nor break, it just opened so suddenly that it startled Relena and her guests. "What the hell is he--" Heero's sentence was cut off by Relena "I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, I had guests, and no you had no right to barge in, not without knocking."

"Hn." was Heero's only reply, for seeing it was only Dorothy and Quatre she was having tea with, Relena sure got him this time.

"Quatre and Dorothy have come to ask me if I would have the honor of being their unborn child's godmother. I'm sure you don't want any but would you like some tea?"

"Hn." Was Heero's reply.

"Okay then, I guess I'll take that as a no."

Heero sat in her living room in silence, but stared at everyone as they chatted. Their little tea party came to a stop when a call for Quatre back in his family's company headquarters came up.

"I guess this is it, Thank you so much for visiting me. It would be more wonderful if you two dropped by, just to see me, it gets lonely you know." Relena said as she bid goodbye to the couple.

"Relena, drop by whenever you want. I knew you would consent to be our little one's godmother. Thank you." Dorothy said as she hugged Relena goodbye.

"Goodbye Relena. Till the next time." Quatre said as he took Dorothy's hand and led her to their limousine.

Relena went back to her large house after saying goodbye to the Winners. She went back to see Heero pacing back and forth, as if trying to memorize some lines. She never saw this side of him before. "Heero, he looks like he's nervous. Heero? Nervous? Yeah right..." She thought as she tried to stop the grin that was forming in her face.

Heero Yuy, the "Perfect Soldier" can never be the "Perfect Suitor". As he saw her figure nearing him, he could feel cold sweat dampening his shirt.

"Relena..."

"Heero?"

"You know, there was a time when I lost you, lost you because I denied that I loved you?"

"Well yes..." Relena answered, having a puzzled look on her face. "Heero? emotional?" She thought as she was wondering, if he was only going to tell her he loved her, only to take it all away.

"Look Heero, don't say that you love me, unless you mean it as forever, make it real, and don't leave me hanging. Is this goodbye again?"

"No Relena, hear me out first...it's..it's not that...this is so hard..." It was puzzling to see Heero admit that he was actually bad at something -- proposing. He took out a small, black box and and slid it across the coffee table for her to see.

"What's this?" She walked over and kneeled down in front of him, and he could see an unreadable emotion on her face. "Heero Yuy, I've loved you since the day -- I want you to -- to --"

She started crying he quickly kneeled down with her when he realized that she was not supposed to be in that situation and that he should be the one kneeling down and trying to propose. Why was she always the one who had to make the first move?

"Relena, although I was cold, treated you bitterly, and mercilessly killed a lot of people, and cannot propose, you still loved me for who I was, and still am, and I love you for that. I want to know --" As they were there kneeling, he gruffly grabbed the small black box from the coffee table. He slowly opened the black box, showing a ring with a solitary diamond stone in the middle embedded in a pool of shimmering, yellow gold. "Would you give me the honor of being my wife? Will you marry me?" He took her left hand, gave her the most sincere look, his eyes were looking straight at her own eyes, begging her to say yes.

"Yes Heero, I would like it very much." Tears were welling up in her eyes while she said those words. He smiled contentedly and slid the solitaire ring gently on her fourth finger and they stood up as they kissed.

"No Relena, don't cry, I'm telling you I love you and that I need you, because I'm going to stay." He held her much closer and put a finger to her face to brush the tears away.

"I know Heero, that's why I'm crying." She smiled up at him and kissed him again.

"Relena..." He whispered her name as it was a prayer. "You won't regret saying yes Relena, you'll be happy and as long as I'm there, you'll be safe..." He stroked her hair and smiled contentedly, this meant that neither any of them would be lonely anymore.

"You know Heero, I've always dreamed that this would happen...and it did, dreams really do come true don't they?" As he stroked her hair and began to reply she cut him off as he noticed that her smile faltered. A frown on her face spread because of the nightmare she had earlier. "Dreams do...come true," She said ironically.

"No, what you had was a nightmare, dreams come true, but nightmares do not."

"I'm sorry I didn't learn how to propose, that I made it so hard for you, it's just that I wanted to ask you to marry me -- before I could lose you again."

That precious moment, felt as if it could last forever, but for Heero and Relena, it went by so fast.

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"And do you, Relena Darlian Peacecraft, take Heero Yuy as your husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do you part?" The old priest asked in that the blessed day they got married. He smiled at the young couple as the blushing bride and the nervous groom looked at each other.

Heero could remember every smile, every scent, and every sign of uncertainty she had. Her neck was graced with a single strand of fine rice pearls. She wore her hair partly up by a pair of pearled combs that matched her necklace, she managed to keep most of her hair down to conform her virginity and innocence, because every bride must be a virgin, and to show that, she must put her hair down. But they both knew that at the night before their engagement, they failed to refrain from having a night of passion, for that longing was kept up inside, for well, too long...

She smiled up at him and mouthed: "Omae o Korosu," before saying those words, those words that would seal their contract -- their contract to love and care for each other for the rest of their lives. "I do."

Heero slipped the gold band on her finger, holding her hand steadily but gently. She took the ring and slid it on his hand, the hand that had the capacity to kill a massive number of people with a single touch of a button.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

He gently and slowly pulled the delicate veil off her face, careful that his robust hands might damage the exquisite veil. It felt so light on his hands, and as he lifted the veil up, he could see her unblemished, glowing face that melted him just like the snow when a ray of sun is felt. He stared at her for a few more moments and memorized every detail of her face before leaning down and kissing her.

He held her steadily, the kiss came to a halt just when they had started. Time is a very unyielding factor that seemed to be cruel for both of them, morbid as it is, moments such as these never last forever.

They faced the crowd that gathered for their special day and they both looked at the world with contentment and joy, as they walked down the aisle, every smiling face was beheld in their eyes, every ray of the sun that penetrated through the vivid stained glass windows were embedded into their memories, for that day was a reason to celebrate.

Their reception was the most joyous sight a set of eyes could ever behold. Their friends were all there. Remarkable as it seemed, Duo had behaved quite properly during the reception.

"I would err like to propose a toast for the new couple." Duo said idiotically as he stood up and tried to catch everyone's attention.

"I hope you stay together happily still you grow old and weary till every strand of hair is white, till the world crumbles and until the and then you can dream about your old and happy times together." Duo smiled at them sincerely before finishing the toast. "To Heero and Relena."

"To Heero and Relena," The group repeated before drinking down the sparkling champagne.

"Geez, Heero is so overprotective, won't even let me dance with Relena, like I'm going to eat her." Duo muttered to Hilde as he danced with her. "Duo, by living with you everyday, it looks as if you can eat anything you see. If you don't talk, you stuff your mouth." Hilde complained to his remark.

"Hilde, babe, does this mean I don't get dessert tonight?" SMACK. "I guess I'll take that as a "no". Duo said painfully as he rubbed his reddening face.

Heero continually stared at her face in silence since the music started. He refused to let Millardo, Duo, Quatre and Trowa dance with Relena, when they came up and asked if they could dance with her, they received a death glare and a "No" as a reply.

"Heero you should start being more nice and let me dance with at least my brother. And no, don't glare at your wife like that." She smiled at him, realizing that he couldn't help but give everyone, including his bride, his famous death glare. No reply was heard from him, as usual. She sighed deeply as she could remember when she was fifteen and she was this infatuated girl following a boy who threatened to kill her. And yes, that boy grew up to be the man she ended up marrying. She spent so many moments dreaming up fantasies about Heero and her, dancing on their wedding day. And it all came true for her. Magic was really true after all.

"I just hope that Duo's wish for both of us would come true. That we'd love each other till our hairs both turn white, and then on that day, we'll sit together, think of the years we spent in married bliss, and of the kids we have that have grown up and made their parents proud. I can't believe it's all true, so true that we might end up paying dearly for this."

He swallowed hard and tightened his grip on her, praying that that moment would never end.

"Did I dream that we'd dance forever on the night that I prayed would never end?" He asked to himself regretfully, guilty that he let her go. "Yes Relena, we did pay dearly for that..." But for the world, it keeps on turning, life goes on, it does not stop, regardless of the fact that there are people lost along the way.

Heero stood up and left his empty bed, realizing that morning finally came without him noticing. It was yet another day, another day in his miserable life. He ran his gruff hand through his unruly hair, realizing that he still had to go to work. He took a hot shower that morning, and the hot, steamy water didn't seem to bother him a bit, since she had gone, he felt nothing, nothing but pain, regret and remorse. He was oblivious and cold towards everything that revolved around him, and surrounded him. He was back to being emotionless again.

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Have any comments, suggestions, or death threats?

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Send them to me!

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Craziereggie392@aol.com


	3. You're the Only Light My Empty Life Has ...

_Disclaimer: Can't sue me Samm! I don't own it! I don't own it I say! Samm you can't have those paper dolls now! Bwhahahah!_

Ironic Chapter III – Quirk Of Fate

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Relena's eyes fluttered open, the sunlight nearly blinding her as its warm rays beamed upon her. A jolt of weakness and pain racked through her body, and she found it hard to even lift a finger. She tried raising her hand up, but she felt a strong, warm…something tugging it.

She tried jerking it off of her again, and tried getting up. Then her heart nearly jumped for joy as she saw _her soldier sleeping by her bedside, faithfully never letting go of her hand._

She looked around, and saw the tubes and large machines surrounding her bed.

"Did I overdose on those pills? But how? I only took…one dose…or two…maybe three…I really can't remember," she thought abstractedly.

The memories of the previous night came flying back to her.

_"Can't you see? I don't love you anymore, Heero, I just don't…" She looked up to him, seeing the hurt in his eyes. She didn't want to hurt him like that, but it was the only way._

_It was too late when she realized she was inflicting pain upon herself…_

_"…Maybe it wasn't even love I felt for you then…I was fifteen, and stupid…we're all stupid when we're fifteen aren't we?" She smiled bitterly at him, giving him the treatment he gave to her._

"Oh God…what have I done?"

_A few minutes after Heero left, she sat on her seat, carrying her head on her hands, crying quietly. __She attempted to dry the tears and stifle the cries, but nothing could stop that._

_…Except him…_

_She suddenly remembered the Colonel's surprising but sincere marriage proposal a few days ago. She hasn't told anyone about it, and especially wouldn't mention anything to Heero. He was furious about the Colonel's interest in her already._

_"I…told him it was my diplomatic duty to marry…and he was a rather suitable match…"_

_"I don't know what to do…what to do," she said out aloud, picking up a soft tissue from her tissue box._

_'This is upsetting me…I think…I'll think about it tomorrow…" She wiped her tears away with the tissue, and pulled the right hand drawer open._

_She reached for the sleeping pills._

"Relena…" His voice broke her out of her reverie.

"Heero…" She tugged at her hand once more, motioning for him to let it go. He had this rather reluctant look on his face that she could not read, for it was too vague to distinguish. He let go of her hand a few seconds later.

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" She asked, almost abruptly.

"Try to kill yourself."

"I did not try to kill myself!"

"Then…what are you doing here?" He demanded.

She looked away. "I don't know."

"Tell me the truth."

Her gaze lowered down on the sheets, remaining distant. He quickly grabbed her hand again, causing her to face him.

"I must have overdosed. Accidentally…"

"That's not the whole story."

"I did not commit a crime! Why are you interrogating me like I'm a crook?" She retorted, feeling weak, and extremely exhausted.

His eyes softened. "I'm only concerned with what happened last night. Please…"

Her eyes closed for a minute, opening a few moments later. He deserved to know.

"A few days ago, Colonel Rodriguez offered a marriage proposal…I felt it was rude to decline, and imprudent to consent, I just told him our marriage would do good for both of our careers…"

Jealousy was evident in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her jaw clenched.

"Why would I?"

He took a deep breath. He promised himself he would try to remain as patient as possible. "Never mind that… Go on."

"Our fight last night upset me…I thought I could deal with it the next day, so I reached for the sleeping pills. I saw your laptop and figured you would be back to pick it up…I didn't want to deal with you or anyone… I wanted to sleep, shut my problems away, even for just one night. A few minutes later, I never felt any effect…I kept on taking them, and took two doses…I can't remember what happened from that point on."

"But why did you take them?"

"I was exasperated…and confused, Heero."

"You didn't have to talk to me."

"I knew you wouldn't talk…I just didn't know how to deal with you, hell even look at you and…Those eyes…"

He felt this aching pain tighten in his chest.

"Did you mean what you said to me?"

"What did I say?"

"That you didn't love me anymore, or not even at all."

Her eyebrows wrinkled even more. "Why do we always have to go back on this?"

"Because…I have to know..."

"You have to know? You have to know?" She took a deep breath in disbelief.

"You have deprived me of what I needed to know…one time you're cold and distant, the next time you're begging me to decline those marriage proposals! And yet…you've never told me why you've acted that way…" She retorted angrily.

"You don't understand…"

"Here we go with the not understanding part again…if you wish to proceed with that, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to leave my room…" She buried her head in her cold hands.

"What you don't understand is that…" He started, as she removed her head from her hands and glared at him.

"I have feelings for you…expressing this is by far the biggest obstacle I've ever had to overcome…"

His words brought her to tears, but it caused her to smile faintly as well.

"Are you sure you mean that?"

"Let me rephrase that."

Her smile diminished. She expected him to tell her he was only joking.

"I love you, Relena Peacecraft."

He placed his hand on the side of her face and gingerly guided it to meet his lips. Their noses touched, and they suddenly felt like inexperienced teenagers who haven't been kissed. Their lips finally met, and started out tender, but deepened as it grew longer. He hoped for it to be the first of many.

When they parted, her smile was restored, and if possible, brightened much more.

"I simply…don't know what to say…"

"Just tell me…did you mean what you said?"

She buried her face on the crook of his neck, and instantly coiled her arms around it.

"I didn't mean to hurt you…I just figured…that maybe if I wasn't so desperate, then you would want me…"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before resuming what she wished to say.

"You know I love you so…"

He put his arm on her lower back, squeezing the side of her slender waist gently.

"Say it again," he whispered dreamily in her sweet-smelling hair.

"You know I love you so," she repeated again, eager to say it again if he wished.

----------------

Quatre awoke tiredly, feeling something that was wrapped around his arm. He tilted his head down to see the occupant of the adjacent chair that was leaning on his shoulder.

_'Last night didn't last forever…'_

His mind soared back to yesterday night's events…

_"About our talk a while ago…" She started hesitantly, trying to prevent that peculiar silence between them._

_"Must we talk about it?" He squirmed touchily._

_"You have the right to know the truth…"_

_"But I don't know whether I should believe you or not because apparently those "truths" you've been telling me, have no actual truth to them!"_

_"You don't understand how difficult it is--…"_

_"I know you, Dorothy. You're manipulative and you could do whatever you want in three easy steps."_

_She was left speechless. She realized how much she has hurt him, and how that distress made him change the way he thought of her._

_"I don't want to be the fool anymore, Dorothy," he added, frustrated._

_"I don't care if you no longer want to see me again, just please listen to whatever I wish to say."_

_"If you've always lied to me then, why should I bother listening now?"_

_"Please…" She asked pleadingly._

_He huffed impatiently, giving up. "All right then."_

_"I know that I'm a scheming, manipulative…bitch, I could do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I always ask for something in return…But you changed everything…You taught me kindness was something that did exist in the world, and that one can love another unconditionally, and it has changed everything," she then hesitated._

_"I always was in love with you, and I always will be, no association, or person can change that," she finished._

_He grinned, taking a few steps closer to her. "That's all I needed to know…"_

_"Now tell me, what will happen to us now?" She asked naively, wondering why he was grinning, and in such a way she remembered how he smiled boyishly like that a long time ago._

_"I guess…we should…kiss and make up?"_

_She smirked deviously._

_"Good idea."_

_She moved first, entrancing her lips to his wanting to savor the feel of it once more. She kissed him feverishly, locking her arms around his neck, and he responded by putting his arms around her, reacting willingly._

_She pulled back teasingly, and he gave her a worried look._

_"I've forgotten to ask for your forgiveness," she said, boring holes into his eyes._

_"Forgiven…and forgotten if only you promise to let me…" He trailed off._

_"Let you what?" _

_"Let me take care of you for the rest of your life…I still have that ring you know…" _

_She pulled her right hand away from his neck to trace his features with her finger. "I thought you threatened to throw a diamond ring into the ocean?" _

_"I couldn't do it…I just hoping that maybe someday you would knock on my door and profess your undying love to me…" He chuckled._

_"Ah…wishful thinking…" She replied, smiling with him.   _

_"I'm really sorry you know…I truly am…I never did expect you to forgive me so easily…not after I hurt you terribly," she spoke sincerely, pushing his hair away from his face._

_"I didn't either…"_

_"You must excuse my inability to tell the truth…and my incapability of expressing love so easily…"_

_"I completely understand…honestly I do…" _

_ "I nearly wanted to kill myself when I realized I had to set out into the world without you…You see, Quatre…I'm so in love with you…I can't even see straight…it feels like a dream…tell me it isn't…"_

_"Of course it isn't a dream…I will always be here, dream or not…Like I said…I'm willing to move on…and forget the past…the war has rid you of everything…and I can't let you lose what you have left…you can't just let any remnant of war, and your grandfather's association take that away from you…you have your own life to live…"  _

_"Of all women in the world…why did you have to fall in love with such a thorny woman, Quatre? She has lied…and stabbed you once before…and questioned your ideals…" _

_"Every rose has its thorns, Dorothy…and of all the roses in the world, I guess I picked the thorniest, but I love her anyway…" Her lips began to quiver slightly, and her eyes became terribly hazy._

_He picked up her left hand that remained around his neck and proceeded to look at the ring finger. He ran his thumb across it and left it on her ring finger._

_"Now let's see…something's missing…"_

_"It's too soon…we can't just pick up from where we left…It's been so long…it has been too painful…"_

_"So much time has been taken away…I don't want to wait around any longer…" _

_"Are you sure you're still in love with me? Didn't you have any others?" She asked him, pulling away her left hand hesitantly._

_"No, there were none…"_

_"You were my first, Quatre…and…my only…"_

_ He grinned in triumph…nothing sounded more relieving…all these years he expected a marriage announcement of Dorothy Catalonia to some pompous noble or diplomat. _

_"My sisters have set me up on dates…a hell of a lot of them…I just found myself measuring them up to you…"_

_"It's so hard to fall for someone when your heart was already taken by someone else…"_

_"Yes, that's true…" _

_She enclosed his waist with her long arms and rested her cheek on his shoulder, rocking her body sideways in an almost lulled state. He responded by enveloping her into his embrace._

_"What are you thinking about?" He asked, noticing her detached condition._

_"Just what will happen to us from this point on?" She responded quietly, still not looking at him._

_"We'll just have to wait and see, I guess…"_

_"What will your family say…what harm it would do to my profession?"_

_"Only time can tell, Dorothy…"_

_"Now I'm afraid we're being too selfish…I'm being too selfish…"_

_He took a hand away from her body, and moved it to her chin, raising it up to meet his face._

_"You were once that selfish girl, Dorothy…you're too selfish to give happiness… and us a chance," he whispered hoarsely, taking his hand away and putting it around her body again._

_"But I do want it…I want us to regain the happiness I threw away carelessly…I just want to be rational and think of the consequences that could happen…"_

_"The hell with everything," he muttered._

_"No matter what happens, I'm satisfied with what we had tonight…"_

_"I just wish tonight would last forever…" He closed his eyes, touching her forehead with his, pressing his body against hers. _

_"If irony betrays us, we will have to let it be…we shall part away with no hard feelings, and set out to the paths we are destined to take…separately…and let it go…" she accented on the word separately, as if she knew it was going to happen already. Only she knew she wished irony never existed. _

_…But it did…and it still does…_

_He pulled back away and opened his eyes, terrified of what she just said, trying to meet her gaze._

_"You will remember me…and the love I feel for you, Dorothy…promise me that…" _

_She ran the back of her fingers down his face. "Of course I will…of course… you know that I will never forget…and I will never forget what I feel and what I always will feel for you…" _

_"If only circumstances were different…"_

_"We have to hold on what we have while we still have it…hold me…just for tonight," she said tiredly. _

_She wrapped her arm around him again and leaned against his chest, closing her eyes and yawning softly. He felt her slanted weight and moved both of them on the waiting benches on the hall of the hospital. He promised himself he would admire and watch over her that night, but he felt his eyelids tug down on him heavily…_

Last night seemed so much like a dream…a satisfying…yet melancholic dream…

Everything was admitted…only to be taken away…

It seemed so much like a final goodbye…

…Still, he can't let it all go…

He sat still, and took her cold hand. He looked at her keenly, musing at how harmless she looked while sleeping…but ironically, her harmless, sleeping form was so much like a dormant creature, hibernating. When the being was awake, it was something utterly different. She was crude, conceited, and haughty. 

He himself new that.

 Even though the conceit was only skin deep. 

The feelings within were much different…only he could understand that…

She saw no reason to hide anything from him. 

_'How can you expect me to let it all go Dorothy?' He thought sadly, wishing conditions weren't so difficult._

"But what you understand…is that I never let go…and because of that I never can," he uttered, squeezing her hand tightly.  

----------------

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